6 Months of Trying.
It’s so easy to feel great with God when life is awesome. It’s so easy to push God away when life sucks. But it is so confusing when God is blessing you beyond belief, but there’s one BIG thing missing. Garrett and I have been trying to have a baby now for 6 months. I’d be lying if I said it’s been easy. It’s an emotionally exhausting roller costar every single month. In the last 6 months Garrett and I have been closer than ever. We’ve learned to take extra good care of each other because we don’t know when the pain will hit either of us.
The last 6 months Garrett’s company hit 5 million in recurring revenue. Him and his best friend bought a boat. I have had the privilege to serve at the most amazing non-profit. We bought a home and we were able to get some tenants in there really quick. We went on the most amazing European vacation, and Gracie turned 2!
Growing up I use to say my biggest fear was not being able to get pregnant. It’s funny how God makes us put faith where we use to have fear. Yes, I know it’s only been 6 months and there’s tons of time to have babies. But you can’t deny it’s still tough.
God has already taught me quite of few things. First, how to be gentle with my husband. And second, how performance based I was from growing up playing soccer. When trying to have a baby there’s no amount of “hard work” that will make it happen. It’s a reminder that we are not in control as much as we would love to be. I laugh now when I overhear someone say they want to have kids right away! Not because it’s sometimes harder than expected, but because we can’t control it. We may make our plans, but God’s got the master plan and it ends up being much better than ours.
“If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans” Cassidy Burr told me that one.
I have had so many AMAZING people come around and support me, love on me, most importantly pray over me. I am so thankful I didn’t keep this journey a secret because I can’t imagine hiding that amount of pain.
“The smallest family will become a thousand people, and the tiniest group will become a mighty nation. When the time is right, I, the Lord will make it happen.” Isaiah 60:22
